Raising up a toddler is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Parents are concerned and want to raise a kid who can compete with the world and embed all the good qualities that are available on the planet.
I would rather say that the parents extend their ego to their kids and want them to behave in a certain way, talk in a certain way, walk and laugh and play systematically. At times they forget that the toddler’s brain is not developed enough to conspire things and intentionally hurt your repute.
Toddlers throw tantrums, not because they want you to feel embarrassed in front of strangers or family, but because they cannot fix their basic problems.
Parents generally say that he does that every time we go out, he intentionally behaves like this and so on! Wait for a while. Let me help you to calm down your toddler. Ask yourself these 5 questions when your toddler is upset:
1. Is her tummy full?
The basic requirement of a toddler is to be fed well and their brain cannot understand that it’s the hungry little stomach that is causing these emotions of anger and frustration. They can sometimes even say that I’m not hungry when you ask them. Check if it’s more than 4-5 hours after meal/snack, they need something to eat.
2. Is she tired and needs a nap?
Sleep doesn’t come easy to toddlers as it comes to you and me. It’s not like I’m feeling sleepy and I’m asleep, in case of toddlers. They push sleep away to play more. Once they are very tired, they cannot make meaning of this feeling and start tantrums.
As a parent, you know that it’s their nap/ sleep time. Make them comfortable, divert them to a soothing song or music and let them sleep.
3. Is she comfortable (clothes and environment)
They are not grown enough to tell you that mom this pair of jeans is a bit tight for me, or dad I do not like so many people looking at me and kissing me!
So, these are the things parents need to take care of. You have to keep a check on your toddler’s behaviour at various places.
See if he is tolerant with loud noise/ crowd/ cold/ hot weather etc. If you already know that the place you want to visit can make her uncomfortable, then tell it to her in advance. Tell her that I know you don’t like being in the sun for long but shopping is important. We will end the trip with your favourite ice-cream.
4. Is she afraid of something?
If your child starts crying without reason, there is a probability that they saw something unpleasant and are afraid of it. Check the surrounding and soothe them by affirming that, “mom is with you and she won’t let any harm to you”, “don’t worry, that dog will not hurt you” etc.
Try to divert the attention to something pleasant.
Talk to the toddler afterwards about the whole incident as a story when you are in a calm place and mood. Tell them to talk about their fears and try to help them overcome it by telling that you too were afraid of dogs when you were young but, later you realised that dogs are fun! Show them videos of the toddler playing with dogs and laugh hard with them.
5. Is she bored and lacks attention?
Generally, in malls and theatres, the children start throwing things or shouting loudly. No no, they do not conspire to trouble you. They do not find shopping and movies as interesting as you do.
The next time you go shopping, engage your toddler with the story in the movie which can help them to understand what is going on. Give them tasks to do in the shopping mall like, pick up a particular item which you know they can find and reach. Talk to them while shopping and tell them why are you buying things to keep them engaged.
Our brain is hardwired to the fear of being alone. This information of panicking when nobody known is around is passed to us with evolution. When the baby thinks that no one is looking at me, they try to do something to get that attention back. This can be an act of shouting /throwing things/ beating up some other kid or anything that could possibly happen with available resources near the toddler.
Talk to them and help them understand the things that you are doing or want to do.
Divert their attention when they are very upset rather than giving them a lesson then and there.